I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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