i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
