There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
