Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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