I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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