Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
