4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Soap is not a condiment
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
