do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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