...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
