I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
