What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We had sex on a dog bed..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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