I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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