I'm jealous of your bromance
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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