I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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