Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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