This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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