yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
