North Korea, Best Korea!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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