Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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