My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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