I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
