STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
