'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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