My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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