Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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