dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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