Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
