youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
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You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
please don't ironically join a cult
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