she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so let's talk penis.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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