I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
