that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
