Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize