so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
