so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
