I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
