If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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