If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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