I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
