i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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