I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
