my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
