I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
