At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
