Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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