She's the barista slut.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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