i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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