I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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