We need to rekindle our bromance
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
