You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
