I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I will be naked everywhere
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
