saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Your penis caused this!
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