i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
