you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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