i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.