Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
