Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated

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  (859): I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated http://tfl.nu/4ho0
  Replies (38) Good night (4284) Bad night (1249)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?

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  (206): Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them? http://tfl.nu/5y9f
  Replies (6) Good night (1793) Bad night (846)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....

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  (248): Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs.... http://tfl.nu/1yzr
  Replies (19) Good night (2849) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.

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  (612): Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p3u3
  Replies (3) Good night (2638) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"

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  (559): And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was" http://tfl.nu/hg14
  Replies (12) Good night (1207) Bad night (2626)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  Dick in a box?

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  (757): Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm (1-757): Dick in a box? http://tfl.nu/x7sn
  Replies (13) Good night (4528) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.

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  (718): Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it. http://tfl.nu/l6st
  Replies (5) Good night (906) Bad night (595)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.

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  (601): Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm. http://tfl.nu/epij
  Replies (7) Good night (954) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO

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  (402): THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO http://tfl.nu/qx0l
  Replies (14) Good night (2534) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?

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  (612): So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me? (319): will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls? http://tfl.nu/9asz
  Replies (3) Good night (376) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.

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  (706): Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed. http://tfl.nu/1l89
  Replies (5) Good night (1111) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much

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  (603): And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much http://tfl.nu/ke95
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.

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  (973): Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year. http://tfl.nu/l5j5
  Replies (3) Good night (784) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY

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  (212): VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY http://tfl.nu/jiho
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.

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  (323): Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd. http://tfl.nu/ari3
  Replies (4) Good night (270) Bad night (184)

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