Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(785): View more from Kansas

Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.

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(831): View more from California

I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.

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(530): View more from California

I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me

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(205): View more from Alabama

After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?

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(647): View more from Ontario

I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus

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(703): View more from Virginia

she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."

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