Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
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coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
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Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.