Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.

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(310): It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples. http://tfl.nu/vzvv

Replies (14) Good night (2584) Bad night (951)
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(585): View more from New York

Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.

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(585): Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories. http://tfl.nu/56hq

Replies (40) Good night (1567) Bad night (1833)
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(703): View more from Virginia

So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?

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(703): So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh? http://tfl.nu/suo6

Replies (34) Good night (1023) Bad night (4865)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.

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(609): imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift. http://tfl.nu/z6oe

Replies (31) Good night (1364) Bad night (3847)
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(310): View more from California

I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?

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(310): I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow? http://tfl.nu/cjjr

Replies (6) Good night (3350) Bad night (993)
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(514): View more from Quebec

bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.

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(514): bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister. http://tfl.nu/visn

Replies (7) Good night (1375) Bad night (2231)
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(817): View more from Texas

Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!

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(817): Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?! http://tfl.nu/9bqy

Replies (10) Good night (1966) Bad night (727)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !

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(402): Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special ! http://tfl.nu/2zxz

Replies (23) Good night (1641) Bad night (904)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.

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(970): I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed. http://tfl.nu/hmgx

Replies (10) Good night (498) Bad night (1449)
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(516): View more from New York

I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"

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(516): I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park" http://tfl.nu/phni

Replies (3) Good night (1014) Bad night (415)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.

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(604): My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both. http://tfl.nu/t7s4

Replies (3) Good night (859) Bad night (572)
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(707): View more from California

Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket

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(707): Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket http://tfl.nu/p2ny

Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (271)
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(904): View more from Florida

Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!

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(904): Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday! http://tfl.nu/ki05

Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (233)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat

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(306): i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat http://tfl.nu/pcnf

Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (272)
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(703): View more from Virginia

OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK

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(703): OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK http://tfl.nu/irl1

Replies (8) Good night (759) Bad night (252)

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