So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
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If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome