Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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