i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize