I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
