you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
