grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
