I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
