Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
