you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
