Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize