it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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