Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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