I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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